Dearest,
You have touched the very core of me and I am forever changed. Your words are like lifeboats sent out to save me from these violent seas. Your gaze dismantles me. I am forever drawn into your radiant smile that sets afire the spirit found within. I long to curl up next to you, feel your revitalizing breath upon my cheek, your tiny hands interlaced with mine. I long to rest my weary head upon your chest and listen to the music of your heart. My soul feels at home with you. You stir me. You split me wide open. You mesmerize me with the outpouring of soul. I had to tell you somewhere, so I tell you here. Hidden away in a landscape that longs to beckon you home.
Yours Most Truthfully, B
Dearest,
Just the knowledge that you exist is enough for this wayward soul. If you are happy and fulfilled, I am content. Even if this means we will never be together. The abyss that is your soul, I long to explore. I long to discover it’s limitlessness. Drape it’s richness around my shoulders. Come home to a kindred soul, even if only in friendship. Your beauty is like Venus in a velvet night sky. You shine the brightest. You contain an entire world within your tiny frame. I am captivated by your presence. May our friendship continue to blossom through the rains of our tears, the sunshine of our laughter, and the roots of our beginnings. You are muse, comfort, and harbor to this lost, now found soul of mine.
Most Humbled In Your Beauty, B
Dearest,
You are never far away from me in thought. It keeps me with you like the warmth of a blanket in these cold days. I wrap you around me and I’m no longer shivering. An inner radiance takes over shielding me from the elements. You touch this weary soul with your depths. An abyss I long to explore. A haven to this misunderstood soul. I find the words I long to express stuck within. It’s as if I am terrified to admit them, knowing I may no longer hold the right. Do I let you go to live your happiness? Or do I hold on until you see? No one has touched me so deeply. You are like a precious jewel, undiscovered; I, hidden away deep within this little mountain town. Am I too late? Has she already discovered you? Has she taken your innate richness and made it her own? My heart suffocates with the mere thought she has you, but your happiness means more than my own. Just tell me, are you happy love? Does her presence complete that part of you? Because your’s completes mine. You are the long lost puzzle piece that makes the picture whole. I am just too shy to express my heart’s desire. You. Only you. I’m a moth to your flame.
In The Boarderlands, B
Dearest,
Your words reach out to me through the darkness, shedding their light. A light illuminating the internal caverns locked within. My soul ablaze. I absorb your sentiments like calcite absorbs energy. Setting me aglow in the darkness. You spelunk my soul. My tiny explorer. You illuminate every crevice. You know, though unaware, the inner workings of my world. How I long to bridge the distance between us. Set you afire the way you have my soul. Share the beauty I see within you. You create a longing within me. Unmatched by no other. Only you dearest one. Only you.
Yours, B
Dearest,
I ache. My body aches, my mind aches, my soul aches from circumstances beyond my control. I ache to be truly heard. I ache to be accurately seen. I ache to be touched truthfully. I am alone. Trapped within. Gasping for air. I suffocate from the lack of honestly that surrounds my life. Lies strangle my every good deed and intention. Utterly exhausted, I continue to fight with what little strength I possess. I fight for myself…I fight for all of us…I fight for you.
It is because of you, I remember there is beauty in this world. Your flowers reach into me, every time. They are my mountain summit sign hung high to recreate that connection. They are intricate words placed in the perfect order to express what previously was inexpressible.
It is because of you, I witness compassion and strength for mankind. Your activism is astonishing. Through you actions you have shown the character of your soul. Breathtaking and rare. My conflict free diamond, discovered amongst the chaotic and cruel.
It is because of you, I visualize hope for the future. Your person, in parts or totality, inspires. You inspire me dearest. In every way. Every day. Waiting, sometimes not so patiently, for what comes next. A new surprise of you that will send me tumbling.
I feel as if my words fell flat today…dull in comparison to just the glimmer of your person. I needed to talk to you. Even if only here amongst the massive data streams. Longing for a river in its place…tangible. Running next to our little cabin in the mountains. A river traveling towards a mountain lake with a dock. The same dock holding two adirondack chairs. Our happy place. Our dock of peace. The place I go to be with you, until my dreams blossom to fruition.
Longing For You Only, B
Dearest,
You have been in my thoughts incessantly. If my mind were your garden, the carefully tended seeds would be in full bloom. Vivid with color and lush with growth, your garden has filled the darkness in my mind. The playful chroma has merged into my greyscale creating boldness. My mind begs soul to follow its lead. My mind is unaware it has finally caught up to the exhibition of my soul. Vast corridors of soul have long awaited equal thought to fill them. You my dearest, are at the root. Thank you for cultivating. I have never needed anything more.
Your Mind Garden, B
Dearest,
I am longing for conversation. A piece of you to create a spark in me. I am weary. The light inside faded to a near flicker. Desperately in need of the fire contained within your voice. Your words burst forth with blazing intensity. Stirring perceptions, inciting deep thought and inspiring empathy. Your words. I so desperately need them. Please send them in any form, towards my general direction, and I will find them. I need your fire dearest. Set me ablaze.
Your Kindling, B
Dearest,
I am not the sunshine, you are. Infact, to me you are so much larger than sunshine, the largest star. You are the galaxy itself. Billions of stars lighting my view, pointing me home.
You have always been the light dearest. You helped me to navigate the darkness. No matter what happens, don’t ever let anyone take that immense light from you. I will be forever with you…the melody and smell of rain hitting your rooftop ushering in release, the signs you see at random, the whisper you hear in the silence. I will be there. Enjoying discovering the world through your eyes. Keep fighting to make this world all you envision it to be. I will be there cheering you on. I will be there. There is no other place I would rather be.
Keep shining brightly my vast little galaxy. For I have returned home to you.
All My Everything, B
Dearest,
I can no longer be what I once was. The outer state of my life no longer compatible with my inner state. Those once trusted are no longer trustworthy. I am fumbling. As I struggle to maintain my foothold within, please do not lose faith. You have left your fingerprints on my soul; permanently etched upon the deepest recesses. My spelunker of light. I feel you even in the darkest of hours. Know I am right beside you. No matter the physical distance, our souls are locked in an intimate embrace. Together we will overcome. I long to gaze into your otherworldly eyes to ease your aching. I long to kiss the cheeks that attempted to hold your tears in my absence. I long to return the plethoras of light you directed at me through the darkness. I struggle, but I still fight. I fight for all of us. For you, I hold on tight. Knowing you can feel me. Trusting that one day soon faith will manifest into reality…You and I will finally be together. All the lifetimes we travelled to arrive at this moment at peace through the touch of our fingertips. Life lived affirming life yet lived. Hold on tight dearest. For I am on my way to you.
On My Way, B
Dearest,
It is Pride today and I will not be attending. Pieces. I am torn in pieces at the thought of missing the celebration. I have been missing out on so much lately. Held back by one reason or another. While my other family takes to the streets to celebrate love and unity, I write in honor of love and unity.
It hits me that I am torn today because of you. I am torn through your absence in my life. For it is you that I want to walk through the streets holding hands with. It is you I want to celebrate love with. It is you I long to unify with. You harbor the truest meaning of both love and unity in my life. You live with such passion and conviction. You fight with such courage. You overcome with such great strength. It is you that I am proud of. You that I want to celebrate.
Missing You Desperately, B
Dearest,
My rope is knotted from the years of lies and deceit I have stuffed inside myself. It dangles just outside arms reach of the truth. However my rope decides to unravel know this: You are the love of my life. Whatever your involvement in the atrocities bestowed upon me, it does not change this fact. You are my champion. Intrinsically good. Humanity overflowing.
Some people belong to us long before we even meet them. They are a harbor, once discovered, feeling like home. Here you are. Not completing me, but enhancing me. Your very being reties the rope at its frayed edges, keeping me aloft a little longer. Keep dreaming my vast dreamer. You are accomplishing so much more than you realize, for your dreams are seeping into my own. Culminating together to create such a love…love for self, love for humanity, love for all of the living world. Love that conquers anything and everything, my champion.
I love you, B
Dearest,
This will be my last entry on your blog. I know you understand why, for you are either the one who started this journey with me or you are someone who needs to be happy without me. Time will tell. My wish is the former. Spending my life surrounded with your inspiration sounds like a persimmon sunset….seemingly impossible, but close enough to orange to make one think it could be possible. There are metaphors dripping off that last sentence. Ohh how you are my muse. You will always have my heart and soul. It is time to either show yourself or release yourself. A choice that is beyond my power.
Know that i am rooting for you, B
Dearest,
It is clear when it comes to you I cannot sit idly by. My resolve has been tested and I have failed miserably. Do you know how many times I wanted to reach out? Attempt to bridge the gap between what is seen and what is felt? You are the pieces of me I can show no one else. You are the only mirror I gaze upon and recognize myself. How has it come to this? Me reaching out across the void in attempt to capture the remnants of your ghost. Are you there my love? Do you hear me calling your name from the truest spaces within myself? You have forever changed my inner landscape. Through the cracks of self doubt your presence has grown flowers. Rapidly growing and tangling around my soul. Ready to blossom with the sound of your voice, the warmth of your smile, and the resilience of your arms. Come to me love. Let us acknowledge our entanglement.
I am waiting, B
Dearest,
The world is strung full of lights. Tis the season. Yet I wait for you tangled in darkness. When will you arrive to ease this incessant longing? When will intuition blossom into fruition? I yearn for a knock at my door. You stand there with wildflowers (totally not seasonal, but a symbol encompassing us both). Scarf gently wrapped around your tiny neck. Eyes eagerly speaking the language only I can hear. Without a word I usher you inside. Inside the house. Inside my heart. Closing the door to the house while shutting out the bitter cold residing in my heart. My heart overflows with the warmth of your presence. The only present I wish for this holiday season. The present of your presence dearest.
All I want for Christmas is you, B
Dearest,
I ache for you today. My soul gasping for breath through all the suffocation. Longing for a connection not present in my current circumstances. I have learned to live here amongst the darkness, but at what cost? What is my complacency keeping at bay? Are you waiting on the other side?
It doesn’t feel like a holiday today. I have spent most of it alone and occupying myself. It feels hollow and somehow void of meaning. I ache for the infusion of soul. Soul I discovered in you. How I ache for you.
I know this letter lacks my usual poetic wanings. Forgive me. I just longed to wish you a holiday full of everything mine is not. May happiness abound and soul be overflowing.
Yours, B
Dearest,
You are quite literally and figuratively my time out of mind. The love found amongst the melancholy that pulls me to my feet. If only I could make you feel my love. I’d go black and blue.
Your Serenata, B
Dearest,
I do not know anyone. Not anymore. Never really. My soul heaves at the realization. I have no one to tell. No one who cares to listen. I am lost. My life devoid of meaning. I stumble through the motions. I miss the piece of me that makes the picture clear. The piece I know is you.
Complete Me, B
Honey Of The B 